Subtle Self Sabotage

I had a pretty important "aha moment" a few months ago that I thought I would share with you. It happened during the Reiki I class I was attending. I signed up for the Reiki class because I've always been curious about it - what it was, how it worked, etc. In hindsight I can see that I wasn't really in class to learn Reiki. I was there so a message, a very simple message, could be delivered to me.

During the lunch break, I decided to just hang out where the class was being held instead of head to a local restaurant with the rest of the group. The class was held in the community building of a nature park and it was beautiful, peaceful and lovely. I wanted to just enjoy nature for a bit.

After a lovely walk I came back into the building and the instructor was there, alone, eating her lunch. We started chatting and she talked about her background and how she became so passionate about Reiki. When she was finished she asked about me and if I thought I might start up a Reiki practice. Well, I gave her my standard shtick. I was a techie-nerd for 25 years, was a hypnotherapist, seriously studied metaphysics, blah, blah blah. I ended by saying that I really didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up. She looked at me for a moment and then said, "The first thing you have to do is stop saying that!"

WHACK. It hit me just like that. Sometimes I am so blind to my own "stuff" I could just scream. I had been saying those words for a good 15 years! "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up." Of course I don't! That simple subtle statement, which I always said laughingly, slammed the door shut on any and all possibilities my mind might come up with.

Over the next few weeks I contemplated the significance of what had happened. How many times do I say "I can't" or I don't"? "I can't afford", I can't find", I can't do" , "I don't know" I started to pay attention. Unfortunately, it was a lot more than I ever thought!

So I am in the process of removing those words from my vocabulary. And it is a process. As much as I'm determined not to say them, they still slip out occasionally. Not nearly as much as they used to though! Now, when my husband asks me if I know where the remote is, or when I can't remember someone's name, or I'm strapped for an idea, or am not able to figure something out, I say "It will come to me." And it always does - maybe not immediately but usually within the next hour or two.

Ok, those are pretty small examples. But take it to the next step. I no longer say "I don't know what I want to be when I grow up." Now I say, "I'm open to all kinds of things." And sure enough, I now have all sorts of ideas flooding my mind about what I want to do. I stopped saying "We can't afford a Mini Cooper" (the car I've wanted since they were reintroduced). And guess what? There is a 2006 British Racing Green Mini Cooper that now makes its home in my driveway! I stopped saying "I can't make a living working from home." And business has really picked up!

Are you subtly sabotaging yourself too? And it is subtle. It's subtle because these are limitations that ooze from your subconscious. Planted there by well-meaning people who were helping you be "realistic".

Pay attention to what you say and think. Are you placing limitations on yourself and your life? As soon as you say "I can't" or "I don't know" your creative spirit stops working. You have declared that you can't, so your spirit is not going to waste its time on that issue. You are the boss.

Now, instead of slamming the door shut with "I can't" or I don't know", allow for the possibility that anything can happen. Open yourself and allow your natural creative spirit to work for you! It doesn't cost a thing.